I currently have a client who asked me what she should do about her boyfriend who is constantly lying.  She says they are little lies and when she confronts him he tells her the truth (or she thinks).  He tells stories and makes himself seem so important.  This has been going on for over a year and she is noticing that when her family asks him a question he lies.  Finally, one day she caught him in a major lie and was extremely upset.  That’s when she decided she wanted to talk to a relationship coach for advice.  She loves this guy.  He treats her really good but the lies are out of control.  It’s gotten to a point where she doesn’t know what’s a lie and what’s the truth.  She used to imaging spending the rest of her life with this guy but she is nervous that the lies will worsen.  She wants to know how to move forward.

Some of the Well first it’s important to be able to identify pathological liar.  A pathological liar often talks about experiences and accomplishments in which they appear heroic. They’re also the victim in many of their stories, often looking for sympathy. Their stories tend to be elaborate and very detailed.  He is an excellent storyteller.  He knows how to captive people by telling elaborate and fantastic stories while being extremely animated.  When I told my client this she was shocked because her boyfriend does all of these things.  Now she was concerned.  So what’s next?

There are many parts of a relationship that holds it together and one of the biggest pieces of a healthy relations is TRUST!.  As your relationship grows, both of you will have to rely heavily on trust, that coupled with respect and love.  Trust gives you a strong foundation as a couple primarily because, in order for both of you to grow together you have to be able to trust one another. 

That leads to the question, “Should I Stay With Someone Who Constantly Lies?”  There are certain things you shouldn’t tolerate in a relationship. Our lives are complicated enough; filled with careers, family, friends, our plates are overflowing.  Adding a relationship into the mix and you have one more thing on your plate called life.  If the relationship is a good, solid one and you can get through the minor problems that seem to affect all partnerships, that makes life easier and that’s one less thing you have to worry about.  Your relationship is supposed to be your relief.

Nobody wants to be with a liar. Even if your partner doesn’t lie about big things, the smallest lies can still affect your relationship in a big way. Lying destroys trust.  When I talk about lying, I’m not including innocent white lies as in, “Did you feed the fish?” We’re talking about untruths that affect a relationship to the point where trust becomes simply a meaningless word.

Lies about fidelity and money are the two most common ones that affect couples. But then there is your pathological liar who seems to lie about everything.  Small things, simple things, irrelevant things, everything.  To the point when you are not certain what is true and what is false.  They make it almost impossible to have real trust. 

So how do you handle a partner who constantly lies?  Should you stay with them?  The answer:  How much are you willing to put up with and how much time are you willing to spend with a liar? 

Once that trust is lost in a relationship it’s hard to regain it back.  Although you may try to get over it, in actuality you never fully regain that part of the relationship because you are just waiting for the next lie.  The whole relationship becomes stressful. 

Relationships are made up of many components. People are willing to put up with different quirks in their partners simply to keep the relationship going. But if you are always feeling uncomfortable or uneasy because you feel as if you cannot trust your partner, then making the decision not to end the relationship seems like a logical choice. 

One of my favorite song lyrics is from the Gambler by Kenny Rogers

You’ve got to know when to hold ’em
Know when to fold ’em
Know when to walk away
And know when to run…..

Life needs quality and a certain sense of security. Being with a person you can’t trust can only cause stress and emotional upheaval. You deserve a better way of living.

Stop making excuses for the person who lies to you over and over again. That person is not going to change and you can’t expect him or her to be truthful.

I know that moving on is hard but staying in a relationship that you know has run its course only leads to chaos and become toxic.  When you reach that point and you find it difficult to leave get yourself a relationship coach.  As a relationship coach, I help individuals through that difficult time.  I show them how to find the happiness they deserve.  Connect with me if you find you are in one of these situations.  Visit http://www.thewomanwarriorcoach.com or schedule a FREE Relationship Strategy Session.