If you have been in a relationship with a man for some time you may find yourself becoming weaker.  Love creates trust, trust leads you to becoming vulnerable.  Vulnerability exposes you to manipulation.  Manipulation can be in different forms.  Some men manipulate you for sex, some men manipulate you financially, some men manipulate women to get comfortable but have no intention of staying long term once he has used you up. 

There is another type of manipulation that I have been seeing happen to my clients.   It’s the Victimization manipulation.  While in the relationship stage, men will use this on nice women.  Men will love you and not want to hurt you but to get their way and gain control they will play the victim.  These men will use sympathy or exploitation to manipulate you.  Men know that women want to care for them or are super nice and will rush in to save them so they create false situation that will make you feel sorry for them and want to run to their rescue.  I call this Boyfriend Manipulation!

Boyfriend manipulation can be dangerous and is hard to identify when you are googly eyed over your man.  This is when men prey on your emotions to gain the upper hand throughout the relationship.  You give in to him because you know if you yell at him or stand your ground you will hurt his feelings.  So you are careful not to bring up anything that will be sensitive to him.  It’s like you are walking on eggshells. 

The relationship may have started off great, but once he found out that you are caring and willing to put up with his nonsense to spare his feelings or cater to his past trauma, you become a victim of his con game.

These men have their con game down pack.  Some men will swear he is going to commit suicide if you leave him.  You panic and stay with him.  He knows exactly what he is doing.  He knows that some women would rather suffer in a bad relationship than see a man hurt himself. 

Listen, men possess a lot of different tricks.  As a relationship coach, my goal is to help women to date with power and get the type of relationships they desire.  So how do you handle a manipulative man?

First, women have to get rid of the fear of breaking up.  If this relationship is meant to be it will be.  Your relationship will thrive with you being who you are and your man being himself.  You do not want to become a guild-ridden, self-made prisoner of love.  In a relationship, disagreement happen; miscommunication happens.  You two will get upset with one another, but you need to be able to have a healthy discussion without blame placing. 

You have to be able to identify if you are being manipulated.  Don’t let him play his manipulative game on you like he games his mother.  Men want what they want, when they want it.  You have to be spart enough to know that manipulation isn’t love it’s control.  Men are like bullies.  Once you stand up to them, you shut them down forever.  You have to become strong enough in yourself to not fall for his games.  You have to be ready to walk away from the relationship if he tries to use breaking up as a threat.  If a man wants to leave you because your personality is too strong or you won’t kiss his ass and baby him, then let him leave!  You have to believe that you are powerful, wonderful and beautiful.  The same way you found him, you can find someone even better.

Have you ever been manipulated?  Do you feel that you are currently in a manipulative relationship?  I’d love to hear how you are handling it?  Leave me a comment below or send me an email if you are not sure if you are being manipulated?

As a relationship and life coach, I love helping women find the love they deserve.  Connect with me and set up a FREE coaching session.  I’d love to hear from you.